A Success Story:
Steven and Christie
Even before Steven and Christie met, they had
individually made a pledge to wait until marriage before having sex.
Christie believed it to be important to make
that decision at a really young age. She,
along with some of her friends, made an agreement to remain a virgin until
marriage. Some of those friends followed through with their commitment; some
did not. However, she found that
accountability was important--friends, parents, and siblings helped keep her
going strong and helped her want to stay pure."
Christie was Steven's first girlfriend and
Steven was Christie's first boyfriend. They dated for over a year before they
became engaged.
During the time they were dating and even into
their engagement, some of the guys that Steven worked with thought that his being
a virgin was almost a joke-
"You're
a virgin?" "Yeah!"
"Right!"
Others thought, "You have a girlfriend...Why
wait? Why not get something out of it while you still can."
Even though some people made fun, making it
difficult at times, they had a lot of reinforcement from others like parents
and friends at church who really helped out to make it
a little bit easier."
Even as the wedding date was approaching,
living up to their commitment was not too difficult for them. They tried to
make sure there wasn't a lot of time for being alone. They tried to stay in
public environments. The key they found, if they started to feel any strong
urges, was to get out, walk through the mall or something. just get out and get
with people.
Steven
and Christie were married in May of 2006 and continue to celebrate their love
for one another.
In
the words of Steven:
"Sex is for marriage. It is a way for a
married man and woman to show that they love each other. However, there are more
effective ways of expressing your love to one another, tons of different ways
whether married or not."
Emotional
Baggage
What is
Emotional Baggage? It is the sum total
of the choices you have made, emotionally, physically and spiritually, through
out your life. It is what has shaped your character whether you are 12
or 60. It is what you bring to any and
all relationships you have had or will have in the future. It is the decisions and choices you have made
and the consequences of those choices.
We make those choices based upon what we believe (spiritually and
intellectually) and what we feel (our emotions).
In this case, we are talking about integrity, sexual
integrity. In order to maintain sexual
integrity, it is important to live a pure, honest and true life no matter what
stage of life we are in: childhood, adolescence or adulthood. If we fail to
maintain the things we believe and feel to be right, we start slipping down the
slope. The further we fall away from what we know to be right, the more
emotional baggage we collect. And it is that baggage that we take with us as we
move on in our lives and with our relationships. This baggage may be permanent like a pregnancy
or a sexually transmitted disease, or temporary like a broken heart. If you
have the facts you need to make the right decisions you can spare yourself from
all the pain and consequences associated with making the wrong choices.
Please come back to this site often, we will be posting personal
testimonies of young people willing to share their "emotional baggage" stories.
We hope this website will empower you to make good, sound
and factually decisions about your sexual health. It's your life, Take a stand!!
A Renewed Virgin
A renewed virgin, that's
what I was. After spending some of my childhood and much of my adolescence
being sexually involved with others, I experienced a life change. That change
in my life caused me to turn over a new leaf. I desired a relationship that was
right before my Creator. I knew a large part of that meant no sex until
marriage.
The most difficult part of
making a decision to wait for marriage was that my body had been used to sexual
activity. It has been said that "your body doesn't know it's not married" and
it often craves what it's used to having. Self-control and my faith both played
an important role in helping me to overcome the desires of my body to engage in
sexual activity.
At this point in my life, I
was pretty much fed up with trying to find "the right guy". I prayed and asked
the Lord to send me a man that was right for me. Little did I know how soon
that prayer would be answered.
I was 18 at the time. I
had begun to regularly attend a Wednesday evening Bible Study in my local church.
One Wednesday evening, I was sitting about 2 to 3 rows from the front and the
pastor, who was leading the study, asked if anyone had any comments about the
scripture we were discussing. To my surprise, I heard a masculine voice behind
me speak up. I could not see the owner of this voice at first. I remember my
curiosity immediately kicked in and got me wondering, "Who IS this?" I slightly
turned to get a glimpse, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that an
attractive young man (in his early 20's) was the owner of that voice.
This sighting of an older
adolescent man was uncommon in this little church. It was the first time I had
ever remembered this young man attending. As a matter of fact, after the service
that night, one of the older ladies stopped a few of us girls as we were
heading back upstairs to the sanctuary and said, "Girls, there's a couple of
handsome young men up there." From that moment, the race was on.
Later, I found out that
the young man I had my sights on was a brother to one of the ladies who
attended church regularly. There was another young man present as well. He was
the son of this lady. Anyway, eventually, this lady and I began to get more
acquainted. One Sunday after the morning service, she ended up inviting me to
join her family for an afternoon together at her parents' house.
One evening, after church, I invited the young
man, Rick, up to my house for a cup of coffee.
Little by little, he and I
began to get more acquainted. We spent time together with his family and mine.
He would often help me study for my college courses. We attended local church
gatherings and spent a lot of time riding and sitting in his little car
listening to tapes (back then cassette tapes were popular). Occasionally, we
went on picnics. Most of our time together was spent, hours at a time, talking
on the phone. (Some things never change.)
One of the greatest gifts
this man, who is now my husband of 21 years gave me, was the gift of respect.
Never once, did he ever try to "force himself" on me. Not only did he stay
within his boundaries, he respected my boundaries as well. The spring of my 20th birthday we
were joined in Holy Matrimony. I am very pleased to let you know...we waited!
Renewed virginity is a real concept...it worked for me.
Rick and Connie
May 24th, 1986
